The Experiment Log.

🥜The roti that became a cracker, and the peanut butter that saved it

A frozen multigrain roti needs about a minute in the microwave. Everyone knows that. Mine got a minute twenty five, because I was not really counting. I opened the door in a hurry, ready to eat, and the roti had gone full cracker. Hard, flat, tap-it-on-the-counter cracker.

Here is the surprise: even plain, it was really good. A proper cracker, crisp all the way through, not some sad dried-out roti. But there was chunky peanut butter within reach, so I spread some on just to see what would happen.

It turned out SO good. Warm, nutty, crunchy, somewhere between toast and a giant biscuit. It was a weird random thing and it turned out very good. I have overcooked a roti on purpose since. I will not be taking questions.

🥑The avocado and onion sandwich that tastes too good to be this healthy

Half an avocado, and about a quarter of an onion chopped very, very small. Mash the avocado with a few drops of olive oil, a few drops of lemon, a dash of Kinder's salt pepper garlic blend, and a dash of chaat masala. Stir the onion through.

Toast two bread slices until they have some spine, pile the mash between them, press gently. That is the whole operation.

The chaat masala is the experiment part, and it is what makes it. Creamy, sharp, a little tangy, crunchy from the onion. It tastes so good and it is genuinely healthy, which honestly feels like it should not be allowed.

And on the days you cannot be bothered to chop an onion, skip it entirely. Just the mashed avocado mix on toast is still really great. The onion is a bonus, not a requirement.

🫐The emergency protein bowl

For the nights when there is nothing to eat and I refuse to make a decision: one cup of protein yogurt, any flavor in the fridge, strawberry, blueberry or vanilla. I use the Ratio protein cups, because one of them carries 25 grams of protein on its own and that settles the whole question. A spoon or two of cottage cheese goes in with it.

Then it becomes fruit admin. Two or three strawberries cut small, a bunch of blueberries, a bunch of raspberries, and a handful of soaked nuts (almonds, cashews and walnuts). The almond skins slip right off after the soak, so off they come, and the walnuts get broken into quarters.

Chocolate chips in the end, because a healthy bowl still has to be worth showing up for. That is it. It becomes a bowl. Protein, fruit, crunch, chocolate, zero cooking, zero regrets.

🥣The Mason jar that makes breakfast while you sleep

Overnight oats, but the way I actually do them. Into each Mason jar, and I make two or three at a time so the next three days are already handled: two or three tablespoons of oats, enough milk to cover the situation, a scoop of vanilla or chocolate protein powder, half to one tablespoon of chia seeds, one or two dates all cut up, some raisins, one dried apricot chopped small, a dash of cinnamon, and a tablespoon or two of plain Greek yogurt. Lids on, fridge, goodnight.

By morning the jars have done all the work. One jar is one serving, the whole jar, emptied properly. It comes out thick, so I pour in a little milk to open it up, tip it into a bowl, and then it gets the full treatment: strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, soaked nuts (almonds, cashews and walnuts), chocolate chips, and a spoon of cottage cheese if the tub is not empty. The other jars stay in the fridge, holding tomorrow and the day after.

It is very, very filling and quietly very healthy. Morning, evening, that dangerous hour where there is nothing to eat and every decision feels enormous. The jar is just there, waiting. You made it while doing absolutely nothing.